A few months ago, I bought a takeout coffee from a self-serve kiosk. No human interaction. Just me, a screen, and a “Would you like to leave a tip?” prompt before I could even grab my drink. Tip who exactly?
Sound familiar?
Whether it’s a 20% prompt for a counter service bagel or a “suggested” tip at the checkout screen of your local bookstore, tipping culture in the US has morphed into something that no longer feels like gratitude — it feels like pressure. And we’re not alone in feeling this way.
Let’s break down how we got here, why it feels so off, and what we can do to bring tipping back to what it was meant to be: a genuine thank-you for exceptional service.
Check out our Current Thoughts Podcast episode on this topic.
A Quick History of Tipping in the US (And Why It’s Different Elsewhere)
Tipping actually started as a European aristocratic custom — a way to show off wealth and status. But when it came to the United States in the late 1800s, it took on a darker tone.
After the Civil War, employers used tipping to avoid paying formerly enslaved people a fair wage, especially in hospitality and rail service roles. Instead of paying workers, companies passed that responsibility to customers — a system that became institutionalized over time.
Fast forward to today, and the US is one of the only developed countries where tipping is an expected part of worker income.
- In most European countries, tips are small, optional, and purely for exceptional service.
- In Japan, tipping is actually considered rude.
- But in the US? Tipped workers in 17 states can legally be paid as little as $2.13/hour as long as tips make up the rest. [Insert Data Source]
That’s not a thank-you — that’s a wage subsidy.
What Changed: The Rise of Tipflation and Digital Guilt Trips
Tipping used to mean slipping your server a few dollars for great service at a restaurant. Now?
- You’re asked to tip for pouring your own coffee.
- iPads at checkout suggest 18%, 20%, or even 25% — often with no option for “No Tip” without an awkward click.
- Some businesses even suggest automatic gratuities on takeout orders.
This isn’t generosity — it’s “tipflation.” And it’s fueled by a perfect storm:
📱 The Digital Prompt Effect
Touchscreens and payment apps make tipping automatic and psychological. People tip more when prompted — especially with others watching. [Insert Study on Digital Tipping Psychology]
💸 Rising Inflation and Stagnant Wages
As businesses struggle with labor costs and inflation, many pass responsibility to customers via tipping instead of raising prices or paying higher wages.
📉 The Sub-Minimum Wage Problem
Many tipped workers still earn a base wage below the federal minimum ($7.25/hour), especially in hospitality and service roles. It’s the only job sector where customers are expected to pay your wages.
The Three Sides of Today’s Tipping Culture
Let’s be fair — this is messy, and everyone’s affected.
1. The Business Owner
Margins are razor-thin. Owners want to keep prices competitive, and some feel forced to rely on tips to make payroll. Digital tipping helps reduce turnover and attract workers — but at what cost to the customer?
2. The Worker
Many servers, baristas, and delivery drivers rely on tips to survive. They’re often overworked, underpaid, and dealing with inconsistent income. A bad day or stingy table means less rent money.
3. The Customer
You’re not cheap — you’re confused. You want to support workers, but tipping for every interaction adds up fast. The guilt, the judgment, the pressure… it’s exhausting. Should gratitude be expected?
So… Why Is This Happening?
We’re at a cultural crossroads:
- Consumers are burnt out and feel manipulated by tip prompts.
- Workers are caught in a broken system, where they’re dependent on generosity instead of secure pay.
- Businesses are afraid to raise prices, so they offload labor costs onto us.
This isn’t sustainable. We’ve lost the plot on what tipping is supposed to mean.
A Better Path Forward: What Could Change?
If we want tipping to go back to being a thank-you — not a tax — here are a few potential fixes:
✅ Fair Wages for Service Workers
End the sub-minimum wage. Let’s pay people a livable base salary, and let tips be what they were meant to be: a reward, not a necessity.
🧾 Transparent Pricing with Built-In Service Charges
Instead of “suggested” tips, some restaurants are now building service costs into the menu — no surprises, no guilt trips. Everyone gets paid fairly.
💬 Consumer Education
Customers need clarity. What’s expected? What’s optional? Businesses can help by posting fair tipping policies so customers aren’t left guessing.
🚫 Tipping Boundaries
Not every transaction requires a tip. It’s okay to say no — especially when no service was provided. Reclaim your right to make that decision consciously.
🏛️ Policy Change
Advocating for state and federal wage reform is crucial. No one should be working for $2.13/hour in 2025.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Crazy for Feeling This Way
If tipping in the US feels overwhelming, frustrating, or even manipulative — you’re not alone.
This isn’t just about loose change or digital screens. It’s about values: fairness, transparency, and dignity. We all want to support workers, but the system shouldn’t make us feel ashamed, confused, or financially stretched.
Let’s bring tipping back to what it should be — an act of kindness, not obligation.
✨ We Want to Hear From You
Have you ever felt pressured to tip when you didn’t want to? Do you support service charges over traditional tipping? What’s your ideal solution?